It's A New Day!

Since I last posted here, Barack Obama has been elected as the 44th President of the United States of America! Hopefully better times will be ahead for this nation economically. I think just by the fact that he has already given 3 press conferences and has started announcing cabinet members in his administration, hopefully this is a good sign that the man means business to change the mess that 8 years of the Bush Administration has done to this country. Okay, that enough from my political soapbox.

I recently read 2 really interesting biographies. One was call "Out of Sync" by Lance Bass (yes, that LANCE BASS). I could never imagine what the world would be like to live in a fishbowl knowing your secret could come out any minute. Despite what some people think of "boy bands", I think it took a lot of courage and bravery for him to come out of the closet. Equally fascinating but by no means boring was the other book that I read "Alone In The Trenches" by Esera Tuaolo! Here is a man who is 300+ lbs, 6'3" and solid muscle and playing in the most brutally, masculine sport there is: Professional Football! His story really got to me, much like John Amaechi's "Man In The Middle" did. Esera played nose guard for several professional teams in the NFL for over 9 years and he, like Lance Bass, lived with the same secret. His story is quite a read and of course, the filmmaker in me would LOVE to make it into a feature film if it hasn't already been optioned! I think Esera's story, even more than Lance's , will make people question how they feel about us, Gay Americans!

Speaking of gay Americans I have to shout out to Miss Wanda Sykes!! I hope she has opened the door for more closeted, high-profile, people-of-color who are celebrities to take the leap and stand up and be who they truly are. I have never met Wanda, however my mother goes to church with Wanda's parents in Virginia. More Power too ya Sistah! Who knows maybe one day our paths will cross either in VA or NY. Wanda came out at a rally, like many staged across the nation recently, opposing the passing of Proposition 8 in California.

I don't want to get on another political soapbox, but I have to say something regarding Proposition 8: Why do people care whether or not same-sex couples get married or not? Seriously? Straight people have the right and often abuse the privilege that is just a basic HUMAN RIGHT OF EQUALITY! My sister recently told me that she doesn't believe in the union of same-sex couples! And should I ever tie the knot with my man (that is if I had a man), she wouldn't come to my wedding to celebrate what could be the happiest day of my life! I interpreted this as she loves me, but with conditions!. To this I can only say "F**K YOU MONICA!!!!" Someone will have to relay this message to her, because as she has never bothered to come and see me in a play in the many years I was acting, nor had the time to take 15 minutes out of her precious time to watch my documentary (however, she has all the time in the world to hang out with her motorcycle "club"), I can tell you that she will never read my blog! Her loss, ignorance is bliss!

Oh, I almost forgot. The other day I was walking from a bar with my friend Paul and we ran into Lee Tergesen and Eamonn Walker from the HBO series "OZ." They were really nice and I was really drunk. I hope I didn't make too much of a fool of myself. Anyway Look for "Kings" coming on NBC in Feb 09. They well be on it!

Well enough about me. Have a nice Turkey day!

Wendy Williams: Part Deux

Okay everybody, today I watched the second day of the Wendy Williams show and it was equally as fabulous as it was yesterday if not better. Wendy looked exquisite in her little black outfit. Today she had on Al Roker from the "Today Show" and he is really a character. I really wish I could get tickets to see a taping of her show? I have a feeling that a taping must be a lot of fun for the audience as well as the guests. Much like the time I went to a taping of "Dave Chapelle Show". It was hilarious, but I digress....

Anyway, before I came here to the library to write (long story short: I was piggy-backing my wireless from somebody in my apartment building and they moved out so now I used the free wi-fi at the Brooklyn Public Library-the big one at Grand Army Plaza next to Prospect Park- I'm not cheap, just broke) I listened a little to the Wendy Williams Experience on WBLS. Her guest today was one of my very favorite authors: E. Lynn Harris. He was there to promote his new book that drops in stores today, Just Too Good To Be True. He also mentioned that he has another book coming out in January called Basketball Jones that deals with a guy living in the closet while playing in the NBA. Now anyone who knows me, knows that this is a subject that really interest me after reading the John Amaechi memoir Man In the Middle. I really can't wait to read that book.

I guess the reason why I brought up sports today is because, as I'm sure you know today is MLB All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. Of course I'm all about anything that has to do with any Yankees. Derek Jeter (will be playing for the ninth time), ARod, and Mariano Rivera will be playing for the American League. I really wish I could be there to watch this package. I mean the teams, not the player's packages. Duh... Okay I wouldn't mind watching the player's packages (I'm a freak like that). Anyway. I wish them well.

How did I get from Wendy Williams to talking about baseball? Oh yeah right, now I remember: I was wishing that I had a ticket (and a date) to go with to the game tonight since it will be the very last All-Star Game to ever be played in the current Yankee Stadium.

Anyway, oh, I wanted to talk a little about the mini film festivals I had all by myself in my apartment this weekend. Since I've been coming over to the public library, I've discovered the "World Cinema" section of DVDs. Over the past few months I've rediscovered and discovered some works by filmmakers who I greatly admire. This past weekend I watched the Three Colors trilogy by Krzysztof Kieslowski. I've seen it before but not on DVD and not with the commentary. As a filmmaker it's an added bonus to be able to hear what the thought process was for legendary filmmakers such as Kieslowski. It also gave me insight into why European films vastly differ from American-made "Hollywood" films. If you haven't the trilogy yet, it's a must for any serious film maker or lover of films. Three Colors: Blue (Trois colours: Bleu) (1993), Three Colors: White (Trois colours: Blanc) (1994), Three Colors: Red (Trois colours: Rouge) (1994) where the crowning achievement to a brilliant career that sadly ended way too soon in 1996 when he died from heart failure.

My other favorite filmmaker that I had the opportunity to study his films is Michelangelo Antonioni. Antonioni passed away last year but was quite a prolific filmmaker leaving behind what is now considered masterpieces of cinema. I watched Il Grido (The Cry) (1957), L'Avventura (The Adventure) (1960), La Notte (The Night) (1961), L'Eclisse (The Eclipse) (1962) and Blow Up (1966) and you know what I learned from watching these film classics? How to speak Italian! Just kidding, I think that the central thing that I discovered was that much like a novel that has plenty of exposition, so is an Italian film. I understand now why such directors as Ang Lee may have been inspired by the shear genius and artistry of his cinematography as every frame of an Antonioni film tends too look like a rare piece of artwork that should hang in a museum. Like Antonioni, I find that Ang Lee's films are slow moving yet visually a feast for the eyes.

Of course, don't get me started on all the Hitchcock films that I've had the chance to study lately, most notably his earlier works (prior to moving to the US from the UK) such as The 39 Steps (1935) and The Lady Vanishes (1938); and some of his early American films like Shadow of a Doubt (1943); and some of his later work like Torn Curtain (1966) - in this particular film Paul Newman was soooooooo hot!!!!

I could go on and on about films as many of you all know but it's getting cold here in the library and I'm wearing shorts and a light cotton shirt. I think they turn the AC up to keep the people from sitting in here all day.

As always, I welcome your comments. Until next time!

Filthy Thesis Madness!

Slowly, but surely, my thesis film is beginning to take shape. I was finally able to find 2 dogs (one owner) who didn't object to the subject matter and will allow her pups to appear in the film. That is one less headache for me now.

One of my professors gave me a compliment the other day and I've been beaming about it ever since. I had told him that the owners of the first set of dogs I had cast had decided to bow out of the project due to artistic differences after reading my script. Professor Ezovski said, "It's only because it's filthy!" Most people would have taken that as an insult but not me. I know that John Waters has been called "the King of Filth" since his introduction to the indy film world back in the 70's with Pink Flamingos. So for Professor Ezovski to say that to me made me feel like I could one day be "the PRINCE of Filth!" Who knows?

But I still need to raise the $2,200 to start shooting and then I'm done. I know that it doesn't seem like a lot of money but I really can make this film for this amount of money. Maybe I should send my script to Mr. Waters and see if he'd finance it? Hmmm, that's something to think about. I went location scouting with my Production Designer, the wonderful Elba Estela, last weekend and I'm hopeful things will start to come together soon. I also met with a Product placement broker the other day and discussed options for product placement as a means of financing the piece.

EVERYONE who has read the script says that it is definitely a great script (and not really filthy, depending on how you define "filthy" and NO ONE is ingesting doggy doo in my script either! Ewww! Even I have my limitations) and would do very well in film festivals. I'm hoping to hit the LGBT festivals the moment the film is scored. If I could only find the one location that I need to shoot the piece I'd be able to rest a little easier. If there is anyone out there reading this blog (and I know that millions of you do!) who lives in NYC and would be interested in allowing a small film company to use your apartment for 2 (possible 3) days to shoot, what will one day be a masterpiece (and be the talk of Cannes and Sundance), please email me and we can take a meeting to discuss the details. Anyone who lets me use their space to shoot will get a credit as an Executive Producer! Now wouldn't that be something to brag to your friends and family over the holiday get-together's? "Yea, I just EXECUTIVE PRODUCED a film by an up-and-coming filmmaker. More a pino grigio anyone?"

Anyway I hope that I can get this thing done before Christmas so that I can edit it and submitted for my grade. That would be Lover-ly! Honestly, I've been so stressed out this week trying to get this thing together I almost forgot to call my mother yesterday to wish her a Happy Birthday. The day before that I lost my eyeglasses and walked around half blind for most of the day. I even filled up my frequent guest card from Crumbs (1 punch on card for ever order of coffee and a cupcake you order). Next week I will be able to get a free cup of coffee (or tea- LOVE that Earl Grey with soy milk!) and a cupcake of my choice. Speaking of which, yesterday I had a "Brownie" cupcake which is another way of saying "DEATH BY CHOCOLATE." Today I had the Caramel Apple and it was so good I got stares from the inhabitants of the lab were I was editing as I ate orgasmic bite after, orgasmic bite. Just thinking about it as I type this entry is giving me...never mind... I'm determined to keep this a clean blog.

Anyway I realized the other day that if I don't get this film finished soon I'll never be invited to the Independent Spirit Awards and walk the "green carpet". Or I'll never meet interesting people like John Waters (or for that matter, John Amaechi.) Just so I can tell J.W. just how much his films have influenced me as a film maker and tell J.A. just how much his book meant to me as out and proud gay black man. Either way, I will finish this film even if it means I go without dinner for a week or two. After suffering from "cupcake nirvana" this week, I could stand to loose a few pounds. That is how determined I am to get my thesis film done.

The sacrifices one must make for one's art.

Script Changes, Cupcakes, J.A. and Halloween!

Sometimes I forget holidays on days when I have to go to school or work. Holidays seem less important when you live alone or have no children of your own to enjoy them with. Or, in my case, when you are low in funds that Holidays are just meaningless at times. It's not that I don't like holidays, it's just that I never saw the excitement in going out and dressing up and acting a fool in the streets. Maybe I just too jaded in my middle years. I remembered that today was Halloween when I got off the subway to go to my internship (in the West Village). Need I say more? It's hard to miss what day it is when you see many costumed folks walking the streets. And not just children either, I'm talking grown folks!

Yea, I guess I'm just cynical in my old age.

I'm at school now working on my After Effects project for tomorrow. My project was to do DVD authoring and create menus for my reel that I will soon have finished by the time the thesis film is done. In the meantime, I have to compile a set of clips together that will go into the demo reel portion of the DVD. I also had a long discussion with my thesis advisor yesterday about the ending of my screenplay, "Poppin' In." She had suggested some changes that now that I've had a day for it to sink in, I realize now that I have to make some minor changes to the script before I start shooting. As for shooting, I'm still going over resumes for crew members and I'm having my first read-thru with my full cast over the weekend. Which I just happened to schedule on the same day as the New York City Marathon. Oh, the joy the streets will be on Sunday. For the first time this week, I really wish I could clone myself in order to get more work done and somehow, get some sleep time in too.

I started a MySpace page this week along with a Facebook page as well. After I put in all the information on the MySpace, I realized that I should have signed up for an account as a filmmaker in that section of the complicated site. Oh, well. I kinda like the layout of the Facebook better and it's easier to navigate too. I hate doing something because everyone else is doing it, but I've been told by persons I respect that in order for me to get more of presence for my blog as well as for my film company, it's a good idea to get accounts on these pages. Who knows what could happen. Maybe I could get more work after I graduate out of it? Maybe I could meet the man of my dreams? Maybe it could turn out to be a nightmare? (I'm going with the "halloween" theme here -- work with me). Maybe I could be stalked by an ax murder and my body could be hacked up into tiny pieces and shipped all over the world? Yea, I'm morbid sometimes? I'll have to keep you posted on my MySpacing and Facebooking! (are those even words?)

Anyway, yesterday while I was at my internship I was searching for a previous segment to be included in a special we are doing for World Aids Day and I happen to come across the interview from the April 2007 episode that would have made me tell "massa where the slaves were hiding" just to have been at: John Amaechi at the Center! One of my colleagues actually did the segment and met him and told me that he was super nice. Ah, that lucky girl! But in my infinite wisdom, I know that guys that look as good as John Amaechi, wouldn't even give a second look to me. But one can dream. One... can...dream :-)

Anyhoo...

Today's cupcake selections from CRUMBS are the Twinkie and a Strawberry Sprinkle Cupcake. In a word: LIPSMACKING! I know that if I keep making trips to CRUMBS like this and eating more cupcakes I will be as big as house. Which is fine with me, since no one is looking at me anyway, I may as well get fat and plump. At least with extra weight on me I can keep warm in the winter sleeping by myself.

I wonder if John Amaechi sleeps in a king sized bed? I wonder if he ever read my blog? I wonder if he ever ate a cupcake from CRUMBS with a nice spot of Earl Grey? Hmmm. I know I would never have to worry about keeping warm in the winter with him. Ooh, I sound devilish >:-)

Oh, and BTW, I was just kidding about the selling out the slaves bit. Just me being Silly Billy!

John Amaechi and Amaury Nolasco: Why do I feel having like a sandwich now?

Right now I've had a couple of Vicodin and I'm currently feeling no pain. I had the Vicodin because I'm recovering from a minor surgical procedure that I had a on Wednesday of this week. So now I'm just on my laptop about to post an entry wondering if anybody is out there reading my blog about my exploits as a film student being a black gay man of 40 plus...

Speaking of being Black and Gay, I finished John Amaechi's book, "Man In the Middle" a few weeks ago and I want to put down some of my thoughts about what I thought. First of all I have to say that I find John Amaechi incredibly HOT! and I hope that I get the chance to meet him in person one day. He is OH SO MY TYPE! Reading his memoir it read like I was reading about my life in many ways growing up feeling "different." Like him, I was was a overweight kid who had issues with my size growing up and was constantly picked on by other children. I resorted to reading and buried myself in books too. I felt that I related to a lot of what he was saying as a gay man too. I would love to have a family even though society may feel indifferent to a gay man raising children. He is now a psychologist living in the U.K. and he has proved that not all athletes are big and stupid. He is a very bright man and, in my book, what I would call "husband material." He's funny and has a good head on his shoulder and is very comfortable in his skin. Just like me. Maybe I should move to Manchester, England? I'm sure if he is single, he won't be for long. Besides what would he want with a 43 year old unemployed college student with a 3.94 GPA? Okay, it's the Vicodin talking now. Moving on....

I saw the film "Transformers" on the 4th of July with my friend Donald. No, Donald wasn't in the movie, I just went to the theater with him to see the movie. Am I making any sense? Anyway I was happy to see that another HOTTIE was in it: Amaury Nolasco. Of course he was a totally hottie as well in the film. Oh the film itself was pretty silly plot wise, but technically it was GENIUS! The whole time I'm sitting there watching it, I'm thinking to myself, "how'd they do that?". The mix of CGI and SFX with the live action was seamless. I had no clue whatsoever as to what was going on story wise, but I was so taken away with the techniques incorporated to make these "Transformers" transform before my eyes on screen. I was never a fan of the original cartoon that the film was based on but I am a fan on great SFX. I smell an Oscar nod.

I picked up my books for the next quarter yesterday. I'm excited because it looks like my 5th quarter will be very exciting too. Oh I also wanted to mention that if you get a chance to get to the New York International Latino Film Festival later this month, don't forget to check out "Lola". It's a short film written and directed by one of my favorite professors, Betty Garcia. I remember back in March around my birthday Betty had asked me to assist her with her shoot but because of a scheduling conflict I wasn't able to do it and she shot this short. In just that short amount of time she wrote, shot and directed and now it's premiering later this month at this film festival. I'm so happy for her I know that it will be a success.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday was the worst day I've had in a long time. Everything started out okay when I got up. I got up on time and had all my homework done. I even had a chance to have breakfast before I left home. The sun was out. Who could ask for the better start to a perfect day? Well every thing started to go downhill once I got into the NYC Subway system. I usually take the 2 or 3 to Atlantic Avenue from Eastern Parkway/Brooklyn Museum. That connection was fine. I wasn't even going to let the crazy homeless man who is always at the entrance ruin my day. When I got to Atlantic Avenue. The B train (I take this to 42nd Street) was at the station. The time was about 8:15am and by all accounts, I would have been able to make it to my class and sitting in my desk by 9am.

Well an announcement came over the loudspeaker that the train was halted in the station because there was a sick passenger on the train ahead of this B at Dekalb Avenue. Okay, so I figured wait for a few moments. Someone said that they had been sitting there for nearly 20 minutes. So I thought, well I go to the connecting tunnel to Pacific Street and catch the D train. It's just as fast and they didn't seem to have any trouble getting over the bridge. So I walked to that platform and as luck would have it the train was just arriving into the station. So now it's about 8:35 and I'm making okay time. I didn't have a seat this time but that was okay.

So I pulled out my John Amaechi book out and picked up where I left off. As the train is going over the Manhattan Bridge, I'm really into the book and all of a sudden I feel a surge of people move closer around me and then the most foulest smell came over the car. When I tuned around I saw that this elderly man had "lost his lunch" on the floor directly behind me where I was standing reading my book. Some had even "splashed" on the bottom of my khaki pants that I was wearing. Now not only was I going to be late for class, but I was going to arrive to class smelling like "motion sickness".

So now I had the option to either go home and change or go to class smelling the way I did. I reasoned it would cost me more to go back instead of just going forward and getting to class late. As soon as I got off the train I ran to Duane Reade and pick up some of those "Shout Wipes" because, I didn't want the puke to stain my pants. Of course, I decided to forego my daily coffee and bagel with cream cheese. I just did not have the appetite. Can you blame me? Anyway I finally made it to class at 9:30 and got right to work on cleaning up the vomit stains on the pant legs. Everything seem to go pretty smooth until after I finished my next class. I should say that on Wednesdays I have 3 classes back-to-back and it involves some campus travel. I start in 50 West 40th (between 5th and 6th Aves) and then go to 232 West 40th (between 7th and 8th Aves) and then back to 50W40. Technically there are no breaks but the Professors know the deal and usually dismiss the classes at least 10-15 minutes early so that it will give everyone enough time to get to their next class. So after my second class (English Comp - that I had to finish a paper for the night before on "The Worst Day of My Life") Ironic, isn't it? Anyway. I decided that now I could stomach some coffee and I stopped and pick up some from a stand on the way back. As I'm going upstairs to the last class, someone bumps into me on the elevator and coffee spills on my light blue and white shirt. Could this day get any worst?

So now I get to my last class for the day and I'm totally in shock over the day I'm having and start to pull out the Shout Wipes again and go to work. I get through the class and I'm fine. Once class is over I hightail it out of there for the subway for home. The ride goes fine and I get home and take off my smelly clothes and take a nap until about 8pm. I got up and made some dinner and got ready to watch the season finale of "Lost" and I'm set for the night. Except I guess I was still tired because I dozed off just before the ending of "Lost" and missed the ending. AAaaaaahhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!!

*********

Today has been a better day. In Flash class we learned how to make a website in Flash. It was so much more easier than that dreadful Dreamweaver that I used to make my site last quarter. I can't wait to redo my site in Flash now. Fortunately today is the last day of classes for the week and it's a holiday weekend. Now if I only had some plans for the weekend.

3rd Week of 4th Quarter of Film School

I haven't had a chance to post in a couple of days because school has been keeping me really busy. I will say that I'm really enjoying this quarters' courses. I find all of them really fascinating and have really gotten into it. Yesterday for my Editing II class (Avid) I had to do a lip syncing project with me lip syncing a song. I chose a song by the late, great Luther Vandross called "Dance With My Father". Luther never got to make a video for this song because he had a massive stork right before the release of this album. His music friends did do one instead I remember. Anyway, I'm thinking it will might make a nice Mother's Day present for Mom. She always complains that she doesn't get to see me much, now all she will have to do it pop in a DVD and there my mug will be.

I'm also in the final stages of getting my original score done by my good friend Donald for my documentary that I did during second quarter called "Measure of Life". I'm really, REALLY, happy with the progress of that. Hopefully it will be making the film festival circuit soon. My 2 general education courses, English Composition and Critical Thinking have really been an eye opener to me. I think the EngComp will help me become a better writer and Critical Thinking has already open my eyes to new ideas that I already see happening in my school work. Well it's time to get back to doing my homework. I have a paper to do for EngComp and I have yet to finish my outline for it. I'm still doing my research for it, I think I will probably spend all day Friday between the Library and home working on it. It is due next Wed. Also I signed up to read one of my poems for a poetry reading at school. I've never read any of my poetry in front of a large audience. This should be a challenge. Oh, I saw "The Secret". Now I'm sending positive messages into the universe: JOB, MONEY, JOHN AMAECHI, EMPLOYMENT, PHOTOGRAPHY EQUIPMENT, GIFTS, YANKEES WIN ONE, BOOK DEAL!

Birthday Shout out: Happy Birthday Kimberly Peters! Hope you have a FABULOUS Day!!

Coverman-John Amaechi

By now most of you know that I have a secret crush on recently out of the closet former NBA player, John Amaechi. I mean, who wouldn’t? He’s tall, dark and handsome and that accent is so sexy. So you can imagine my surprise when last week I went to my mailbox to find my latest issues of The Advocate with none other than that sweet teddy bear himself on the COVER! I have to say I was in “seventh heaven”!

The article is an interview with journalist, Anne Stockwell. He goes into detail about why most male athletes in the NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB will wait until leaving their career as ball players to take the step and come out of the closet. Coming out the closet isn’t easy for anyone, let alone for someone who makes their living in the testosterone-charged industry of professional athletics. Either way, I applaud him for his courage and bravery.

In the article he goes on to say that there are still working professional athletes today that live in the closet and fear exposure and lost of endorsement dollars. I believe he’s right. I believe in visibility but not at the expense of putting yourself in jeopardy of loosing one’s source of income.

It’s a very interesting article and if you have not read it, pick it up or go to the website to catch up on it. I can’t wait to read his new book, “Man in the Middle”. He was actually at a book signing this past Wednesday at Barnes & Noble in the Village. I really, really, REALLY wanted to go but these being extremely lean days for me financially, I couldn’t go. It's hard out there being a struggling college student once again, TRUST ME on that. Anyway, if anyone went to the event, please drop me a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

John Amaechi - My Black Gay Hero

I've always been a big sports fan. As a kid growing up in Roosevelt, Long Island some of my fondest memories was practicing my baseball pitching and catching with my dad in our backyard. I always loved when we'd watch football and basketball games whenever we got the chance. My dad was an amatuer boxer before I was born and my mom talked him out of it. He was a Mets/Knicks/Nets fan. I'm now a big Yankee's fan. I often joke with my friends that Derek Jeter is my next husband [oh, how I WISH that photo below of the two of us wasn't "embellished" with Photoshop] he doesn't know it yet.

Growing up, I guess I knew was gay. But how could that be when I liked sports? I mean, that's so unstereotypical for a gay guy to be into contact sports. Right? Gay men are supposed to be into figure skating as far as sports go. Right? Well I'm not saying that I would kick Rudy Galindo out of bed, but I happen to like watching the Superbowl too! (And not just because they played in the rain and their suits where getting soaking wet either!) What it comes down to is that it just goes to show that you can't judge a book by its cover. So for a long time I kept my love of sports from my gay friends and kept my love of men from my straight male friends. But how could I be a whole person with all of my friends if I lived in the closet with so much?

Once I grew up and realized that there ARE many men who are both gay AND big sports fans. It only made me wonder if there were in fact, professional players who were gay as well. Gradually as the years went on there were Dave Kopay, Greg Louganis (although swimming technically doesn't count because it's not a "contact" sport) and countless female athletes. But for the first time I can remember, do we have a Black man, John Amaechi, who is coming out so soon after leaving the NBA. Roy Simmons came out many years after leaving the NFL.

No one even seemed to be too bent (no pun intended) by Pro Wrestler, Orlando Jordan coming out a few months back. I guess this was because he said he is "Bi". So in the eyes of many straight fans, "There's still a chance". Although I'm not a big pro wrestling fan (although I've had a crush on "The Rock" for years), I do know it's more theatrical then say, a boxing match. But just the same, it was a big step for Orlando Jordan to come out too.

I believe this is a really big step because so many straight brothas out there would question the ability of a player who was not only a brotha and a skillful ball player but who is also gay. Mostly the thought of a gay man sharing a locker room with them scares them. Especially someone who (in their eyes) is just a "regular brotha". NEWSFLASH to all the straight men out there: We all don't want to "convert" straight guys! We are not all checking out your asses either! Amaechi has said in interviews since coming out that he was never attracted to any of his past teammates because when he was on the boards it was just a business. I know EXACTLY what he means!

Since I've never made it a big secret about being gay, it amazes me how many seemingly intelligent straight men will question my motives when I so much as say "wassup" in the break room at jobs that I've had. Even at school now, this happens to me. I'm a big guy who is not flamboyant so when I tell people I'm gay, the guys instantly freeze up. I even overheard two guys talking about me saying "but he doesn't look gay?" Sometimes I even question the reason for my being fired may have been because I wasn't part of the "all-boy" network at my last position in corporate America. But I digress. I think that Amaechi's coming out will hopefully let sports fans see that many players may not always play on their "team" but can still win for THE team.

I only hope by John Amaechi and Orlando Jordan coming out will make it easier for other professional Black male athletes to feel comfortable to come out while they are still in the middle of their sports careers rather than wait to retire to do it. If a person is a good player it shouldn't matter who they sleep with outside of the playing field. But ultimately it's up to the fans to support their teams regardless of whether or not there may be one gay player on the team.

I also hope it makes it easier for high school athletes to not be afraid of whom they are. If they are gay and want to play organized sports, then they should without any judgments. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important that the door has been open, now it's time to dialogue on how to make the team work to win. It shouldn't matter if someone is a Yankees or Red Sox fan and is gay. [Although I would equate dating a Red Sox fan to dating a Bush supporter: not going to happen in my lifetime.] Our money is still green and we still go to support our teams. Who gives a crap if one of the players is playing in a "different league"? I certainly don't.

One of my favorite books is a novel called "The Dreyfus Affair" by Peter Lefcourt. It's a love story set in the world of Major League Baseball. A white shortstop falls for his Black second baseman and so the story begins. Since it came out, there have been talks of making it into a film. I'd hope with the success of "Brokeback Mountain" in 2005, that "The Dreyfus Affair" would finally get the green light. Like the rugged characters in "Brokeback", the world of baseball is a very testosterone-infused environment. But would straight guys be freaked out that guys, who look like them, are into sports like them, and scratch and fart just like them are suddenly falling into other guy’s arms? I sure hope they do.

There will always be people like Tim Hardaway and his foul comments about his fellow brother of the courts. To the straight guys out there (and I know there are a few reading this now): We are everywhere. We play sports like you. We drink beer like you. With the exception of who we love, we are not that different. If you happen to have a favorite player who you find out is gay, it doesn't make you "weak" or any less of a man because you like him. If anything it makes your more of a man to stand by your favorite team and ALL of it's players. We're not going anywhere. So GET OVER IT!